Category Archives: Womanhood

She was done ….

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I read this and was blown away by it … this …. just this ….
She was done being something she was not. She realized the purpose of life was to be truly, happily who she was born to be…and if she paused long enough to remember, she recognized herself.

Enjoy

Cx

Author: Adrienne Pieroth

She was done not fully being herself.

She realized she was the only self she could be—and not being unapologetically true to herself was a disservice to her soul and the world.

She was done listening to the noise of the world. She realized the quiet voice of her own soul was the most beautiful sound.

She was done questioning her motives, her intentions, the call of her soul. She realized questions seek answers, and maybe she already knew the answers.

She was done striving, forcing, pushing through and staying on the hard path. She realized toughing things out might be a sign to pick another path.

She was done with friends that admonished her to be more light and breezy. She realized they didn’t understand she swam in the deep waters of life, she felt at home in their dark depths and died if she lived on the surface.

She was done with the distractions, the denials, the small addictions that pulled her away from the true desires of her soul. She realized that strength of character came from focus and commitment.

She was done not following the desires that yelled out in her soul every day. She realized if she did nothing about them, they died a quiet death that took a piece of her soul with them.

She was done with dinner parties and cocktail hours where conversations skimmed the surface of life. She realized the beverages created distortion and a temporary happiness that wasn’t real and disappeared in the light of the day.

She was done trying to please everyone. She realized it could never be done.

She was done questioning herself. She realized her heart knew the truth and she needed to follow it.

She was done analyzing all the options, weighing the pros and cons and trying to figure everything out before leaping. She realized that taking a leap implied not fully seeing where she landed.

She was done battling with herself, trying to change who she knew herself to be. She realized the world made it hard enough to fully be herself, so why add to the challenge.

She was done worrying, as if worry was the price she had to pay to make it all turn out okay. She realized worry didn’t need to be part of the process.

She was done apologizing and playing small to make others feel comfortable and fit in. She realized fitting in was overrated and shining her light made others brave enough to do the same.

She was done with the should’s, ought to’s and have to’s of the world. She realized the only must’s in her life came from things that beat so strong in her soul, she couldn’t not do them.

She was done with remorse and could have’s. She realized hindsight never applies because circumstances always look different in the rearview mirror and you experience life looking through the front window.

She was done with friendships based on shared history and past experiences. She realized if friends couldn’t grow together, or were no longer following the same path, it was okay to let them go.

She was done trying to fit in—be part of the popular crowd. She realized the price she had to pay to be included was too high and betrayed her soul.

She was done not trusting. She realized she had placed her trust in people that were untrustworthy—so she would start with the person she could trust the most—herself.

She was done being tired. She realized it came from spending her time doing things that didn’t bring her joy or feed her soul.

She was done trying to figure it all out, know the answers, plan everything and see all the possibilities before she began. She realized life was unfolding and that the detours and unexpected moments were some of the best parts.

She was done needing to be understood by anyone but herself. She realized she was the only person she would spend her whole with and understanding herself was more important than being understood by others.

She was done looking for love. She realized loving and accepting herself was the best kind of love and the seed from which all other love started.

She was done fighting, trying to change or not her accepting her body. She realized the body she came into the world with was the only one she had—there were no exchanges or returns—so love and acceptance was the only way.

She was done being tuned in, connected and up-to-date all the time. She realized the news and noise of the world was always there—a cacophony that never slowed or fell quiet and that listening to the silence of her soul was a better station to tune into.

She was done beating herself up and being so hard on herself as if either of these things led to changes or made her feel better. She realized kindness and compassion towards herself and others accomplished more.

She was done comparing and looking at other people’s lives as a mirror for her own. She realized holding her own mirror cast her in the best, most beautiful light.

She was done being quiet, unemotional and holding her tongue. She realized her voice and her emotions could be traced back to her deepest desires and longings. if she only followed their thread.

She was done having to be right. She realized everyone’s truth was relative and personal to themselves, so the only right that was required was the one that felt true for her.

She was done not feeling at home in the world. She realized she might never feel at home in the world, but that feeling at home in her soul was enough.

She was done being drained by others—by people who didn’t want to take the time for their own process and saw shortcuts though hers. She realized she could share her experience, but everyone needed to do the work themselves.

She was done thinking she had so much to learn. She realized she already knew so much, if she only listened.

She was done trying to change others or make them see things. She realized she could only lead by example and whether they saw or followed was up to them.

She was done with the inner critic. She realized its voice was not her own.

She was done racing and being discontent with where she was. She realized the present moment held all it needed to get her to the next moment. It wasn’t out there—it was right here.

She was done seeing hurt as something to be avoided, foreseen or somehow her fault. She realized hurt shaped her as much as joy and she needed both to learn and grow.

She was done judging. She realized judging assumed the presence of right and wrong—and that there was a difference between using information to inform and making someone else wrong.

She was done jumping to conclusions. She realized she only needed to ask.

She was done with regrets. She realized if she had known better she would have done better.

She was done being angry. She realized anger was just a flashlight that showed her what she was most scared of and once it illuminated what she needed to see, she no longer needed to hold on to it.

She was done being sad. She realized sorrow arose when she betrayed her own soul and made choices that weren’t true to herself.

She was done playing small. She realized if others couldn’t handle her light, it was because they were afraid of their own.

She was done with the facades and the pretending. She realized masks were suffocating and claustrophobic.

She was done with others’ criticism and complaints. She realized they told her nothing about herself—only informed her of their perspective.

She was done yelling above the noise of the world. She realized living out loud could be done quietly.

She was done needing permission, validation or the authority. She realized she was her her own authority.

She was done being something she was not. She realized the purpose of life was to be truly, happily who she was born to be…and if she paused long enough to remember, she recognized herself.

Been there, got the T-shirt and it’s been 4 years …. weight loss …

Ohh my as I saw this flash up on my FB page and I knew I just had to click …

Link:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridgette-white/exposed-by-my-children-for-what-i-really-look-like_b_5613551.html

I felt such affinity with this lady …. as a few years ago my beautiful children took a photo of me on the beach at Mudiford (Easter 2010) and I was so horrified by what I saw … I remember having a discussion with them about how to take photos that may be a little more flattering rather than ones where I looked like a beached whale (this is insulting to whales! but I really did look big).
Having read the above article … I never even considered what my children were thinking or feeling when they took it and then how they felt when they had to delete it …  I was very caught up in this bubble that I wanted to lose weight and be healthy.  My weight had escalated after the ACL reconstruction and I was caught in a vicious circle that every time I went to the gym and exercised I would be knocked off my feet due to the inflammation in the knee – a real Catch 22.  I was in the midst of trying to sort out a private route to have weightloss surgery as I wasn’t eligible for NHS funding … basically I had the BMI that was described as morbidly obese but no other issues apart from the knee surgery.  MY thought process at the time was I don’t want to be the next statistic … I don’t want to be diagnosed with Diabetes or have a heart condition.

We can be made to feel so self conscious about how we look, how our hair is styled, whether we fit the image our role requires … we have become very insular … what happened to accepting that what’s on the outside isn’t necessarily what’s on the inside?  There are so many beautiful people who hide behind this wall … either self-erected or put there by hurtful comments from family, friends and complete strangers!

On the 31st July, I should have celebrated the 4th anniversary of my weightloss surgery but I didn’t … it actually slipped my mind … 4 years … have I gained weight?  That’s what everyone always thinks that you’ll fail and regain the weight … will you have it removed is another question I am regularly asked?  Why should I it’s a tool, which I choose to pay for and why on earth would I want to remove it … I wasn’t governed by food … food was not the issue … it was the other things around it … the excess alcohol, inactivity due to the injury, and an under-active thyroid … do I want to go back to all of that?  Definitely not … No!

I am a healthy & happy person.  Yes I wanted to go down the weightloss route not because I wanted to look better but because I wanted to be healthy, be here for my children and my family, to share those action packed adventures with them and the people that surround me.  To have this wonderful energy that drives me in my life and work.  I opened a new journey in my life … I love every step I take and yes there are challenges … when are there not.

I wonder if today I am going to be able to eat x or will my body think its too much and decide that actually it doesn’t want it … there are foods that I actively choose to avoid because of the adverse reactions … there are foods that I love and have found a way to incorporate into my diet … bananas for example … I put them in a smoothie.  I loved and missed salad for a long time and yes I do eat it but as & when I can … when my body will let me … stress is a big factor and that can close my body down significantly.  As each day dawns so does my experience with the band … yes I decided I would have entry level weightless surgery and went for a Gastric band and to make you go … ohhh no!  … I went to Brussels (Belgium) to have the procedure … shock horror … the care was amazing … the price for the procedure even better … I had change … plus the most wonderful aftercare in the UK … so for me it has been a very positive experience …

So 101 inches later and 123 pounds loss … yes I love that I can buy really lovely clothes … I have become a fan of Apricot … bright colours!  I will raise a glass to 4 years this evening but there are bigger fish to fry and experiences to have so onward & upward ….

wl journey

 

Cx

 

Lactation cookies

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Fab with lots of links

Major Milk Makin’ Cookies

Recipe by Kathleen Major
Detailed recipe with photos found here

1 1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1 3/4 c. oats
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3/4 c. almond butter or peanut butter
1/2 c. butter, softened
1 c. flax
3 T brewer’s yeast
1/3 c. water
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla
2 large eggs
2 c. (12oz) chocolate chips
1 c. chopped nuts of your choice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

Combine flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt in a bowl.
In a large bowl, beat almond butter, butter, sugar, brown sugar, vanilla, brewer’s yeast, flax and water until creamy.
Mix in eggs.
Gradually beat in flour mixture.
Mix in nuts and chocolate chips.
Add oats slowly, mixing along the way.

Place balls of dough onto greased baking sheets or baking stones.

Press down each ball lightly with a fork.
Bake 12 minutes.

Momma’s Milk Cookies
recipe by Danelle Frisbie

2 eggs
1/2 c. unsweetened applesauce
1 c. flax
1 1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1/2 c. melted butter
2 c. Agave nectar
3/4 c. walnuts (crushed)
2 c. chocolate chips
3/4 c. raisins
4 T water
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
4 T brewer’s yeast
3 c. oats

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

I have found greased cookie sheets work best, but you can also use parchment lined sheets or a baking stone.

In a bowl mix flax and water until thoroughly mixed.
In a large bowl mix flour, baking soda, salt and brewer’s yeast.
In another bowl mix together butter and ONE cup Agave nectar (the other cup will be used later). Stir well until the butter and nectar are completely mixed.
Add eggs to the nectar mix, stirring well after each one.
Add vanilla, stir.
Add the nectar blend to the flax and mix well. (A hand mixer or mixing bowl works best)
Pour the nectar/flax blend into the large bowl of flour and mix well.
Mix in walnuts, chocolate chips, raisins.
Mix in oats.
After everything is blended together well, add the applesauce and final 1 cup of Agave nectar and stir through well.

Scoop onto sheets, and press down each ball of dough lightly with a fork.
Bake 13-14 minutes.

Vegan options for both recipes:

In place of eggs – 3 tsp of egg replacer mixed with 4 T water OR 4 tsp of milled flax with 4 T water.

In place of butter – butter substitute like Earth Balance OR 3/4 the amount worth of Canola oil or Crisco (although Crisco is not a healthy option) OR 1/2 c. milled flax and 1/2 c. applesauce

Postpartum Depression – Mums & Dads

MOTHERS
Observe the mother for signs that she may be developing postpartum depression (PPD) or anxiety (at least 1 in 5 new moms in the United States do). Know the difference between normal new mom stress and a postpartum mood disorder. Be gentle and compassionate with the mother. Ask her what kind of support would help her feel better. If she wants peer or professional assistance, this page has a list of local and national postpartum support organisations. To better understand what a mother with PPD is experiencing, her friends/family may find it helpful to read Brooke Shields’ memoir, Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression. 

 

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-difference-between-postpartum-depression-normal-new-mom-stress

FATHERS
Watch the father for signs of anxiety or depression as well. Postpartum anxiety and depression occur in fathers, too. Like mothers, fathers need sleep, good nutrition, exercise, and alone time to stay well. This page has a great list of resources both for fathers experiencing postpartum depression themselves, and for partners of women experiencing PPD. Additionally, Postpartum Men Online Forum is an online community that these men may find helpful.

http://postpartummen.com/ppnd.htm

http://postpartummen.com/forum/