Ohh my as I saw this flash up on my FB page and I knew I just had to click …

Link:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridgette-white/exposed-by-my-children-for-what-i-really-look-like_b_5613551.html

I felt such affinity with this lady …. as a few years ago my beautiful children took a photo of me on the beach at Mudiford (Easter 2010) and I was so horrified by what I saw … I remember having a discussion with them about how to take photos that may be a little more flattering rather than ones where I looked like a beached whale (this is insulting to whales! but I really did look big).
Having read the above article … I never even considered what my children were thinking or feeling when they took it and then how they felt when they had to delete it …  I was very caught up in this bubble that I wanted to lose weight and be healthy.  My weight had escalated after the ACL reconstruction and I was caught in a vicious circle that every time I went to the gym and exercised I would be knocked off my feet due to the inflammation in the knee – a real Catch 22.  I was in the midst of trying to sort out a private route to have weightloss surgery as I wasn’t eligible for NHS funding … basically I had the BMI that was described as morbidly obese but no other issues apart from the knee surgery.  MY thought process at the time was I don’t want to be the next statistic … I don’t want to be diagnosed with Diabetes or have a heart condition.

We can be made to feel so self conscious about how we look, how our hair is styled, whether we fit the image our role requires … we have become very insular … what happened to accepting that what’s on the outside isn’t necessarily what’s on the inside?  There are so many beautiful people who hide behind this wall … either self-erected or put there by hurtful comments from family, friends and complete strangers!

On the 31st July, I should have celebrated the 4th anniversary of my weightloss surgery but I didn’t … it actually slipped my mind … 4 years … have I gained weight?  That’s what everyone always thinks that you’ll fail and regain the weight … will you have it removed is another question I am regularly asked?  Why should I it’s a tool, which I choose to pay for and why on earth would I want to remove it … I wasn’t governed by food … food was not the issue … it was the other things around it … the excess alcohol, inactivity due to the injury, and an under-active thyroid … do I want to go back to all of that?  Definitely not … No!

I am a healthy & happy person.  Yes I wanted to go down the weightloss route not because I wanted to look better but because I wanted to be healthy, be here for my children and my family, to share those action packed adventures with them and the people that surround me.  To have this wonderful energy that drives me in my life and work.  I opened a new journey in my life … I love every step I take and yes there are challenges … when are there not.

I wonder if today I am going to be able to eat x or will my body think its too much and decide that actually it doesn’t want it … there are foods that I actively choose to avoid because of the adverse reactions … there are foods that I love and have found a way to incorporate into my diet … bananas for example … I put them in a smoothie.  I loved and missed salad for a long time and yes I do eat it but as & when I can … when my body will let me … stress is a big factor and that can close my body down significantly.  As each day dawns so does my experience with the band … yes I decided I would have entry level weightless surgery and went for a Gastric band and to make you go … ohhh no!  … I went to Brussels (Belgium) to have the procedure … shock horror … the care was amazing … the price for the procedure even better … I had change … plus the most wonderful aftercare in the UK … so for me it has been a very positive experience …

So 101 inches later and 123 pounds loss … yes I love that I can buy really lovely clothes … I have become a fan of Apricot … bright colours!  I will raise a glass to 4 years this evening but there are bigger fish to fry and experiences to have so onward & upward ….

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