Author Archives: Claire

Mad as a Hatter

Well in September last year when I first started thinking about how I could set myself a challenge I really didn’t think that whilst trawling through the Tommy’s website ordering resources for my pregnancy yoga classes that I would suddenly be taken with the idea of running a 1/2 Marathon!

But the seed was planted and my “Golden bond” place was confirmed.  I downloaded the training plan and thought ohh goody there are weeks in hand that will be good.  So I gently started to increase my walking and wasn’t quite brave enough to try running but would do a gentle jog every now and again and try to out jog the little hills I kept coming across!  Mapmywalk become my best friend!  Sad I know but an amazing tool when you need to know how you are doing and a great app for recording the here and now!

I always hate asking people to sponsor me but I bit the bullet and emailed out past & present clients, family members, friends and I was amazed by the generosity especially as financially times are quite tight – I am so grateful that  there are some wonderful individuals/families out there who really believe in me – thank you.

Training was so so it could have been better but so much was going on with one avenue of my life in particular and the stress was pilling up so that it was impacting and affecting me not just mentally but physically.  I am never one to back out of a challenge and the faith that so many had placed in me that I could do this but if I am honest I had to give myself a good talking too.  How did I manage?  …. I looked at it as a journey to give birth!  I know madness but I have to be honest all the way around Silverstone I kept focusing on Matti’s birth and the last 7 miles were the last 7 days of labour!  Yes I really did focus on giving birth and even used birth breathing when the need for the loo became too much  …. but that is to come … just to say TENA ladies are fab!

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Number arrived … and the day dawned brightly.  One excited 7 year old who I think would have jogged the whole course with me if he had been allowed was bouncing around and infecting us all with his enthusiasm.  On the journey to Silverstone I took a gentle breath and focused on releasing all the tension I was aware of holding.  I wanted to be relaxed and focused for this as the plan was to power walk the course and I was trying to keep to 15 minute miles which would give me a course time of 3 hours 15 minutes or thereabouts.  Have to allow for contingencies and I know what I am like when I see others struggling – I go into auto mode and gently “doula” them.

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So I found my starter marker 3 hours + met an amazing lady in remission and running this 1/2 marathon before doing a triathlon at Blenheim and I was blown away by her journey.  Wishing her well I started forward to the start line and this was the pattern of the next 3+ hours meeting new people and exchanging stories.  So many inspirational people.  People I overtook walking who would then gently jog past me and we would keep changing places.  Chatting to them and motivating them and myself.

Amazing at Mile 6 I was met with a hug from our littlest and he gently jogged as we went over the bridge.  From there onwards my focus was the 7 days I was in labour with Matti and each mile was one day.  Mile 11 was challenging as the weather had really changed and it was very cold.  I was so glad I had padded up at this point.

Coming into the last mile felt very lonely and I was a little forlorn as a lone jogger jogged past me and there was just me and a photographer as I power walked down the straight.  As I started round the bend and up the hill the lactic acid started to hit and I did honestly think this is it a mile from the finish and your body quits on you!  Mentally I was feeling the challenge as well but I kept thinking of all the penniesthat I had raised and how they would help a family and their precious cargo.  The end was in sight, my mobile had run out and mapmywalk was no longer telling me that you have walked x miles in x hours & minutes.  It did tell me that the finish marker was back there – huuh?

Coming into the final finish was very emotional, my family had stuck with me all the way and it was really cold – thank you my lovelies as it was so worth seeing you at the finish line.  Stamping on that mat and seeing that I had done it, with the marshalls congratulating me and saying about how it was a worthy charity etc had me in tears and I just couldn’t talk …  IMG_1871

Thank you to you all, Mark has a video of the end and I will try to upload.IMG_1856

Will I ever do a 1/2 Marathon again – at the time when I was cold, the shakes had started and then when the stiffness set in I would probably have been quite adamant saying never again, however if you had asked me the next day and the day after than when I went for gentle walks to loosen my poor body out I would have said maybe but smaller next time!  On reflection I would love to do the Moonwalk and that is 26 miles … so the plan … at some point in the future I will do a Moonwalk and would love to rope in all the lovely mamas I have had the honour to support during their pregnancies.  So mamas be warned I am on the lookout and will be asking.

Thank you to everyone for helping me raise £275.00 i nearly made my target of £300.00 for Tommy’s.

 

 

 

Daughters …

As some of you may know we now have a teenager in the house and I have to be honest it was like someone flicked a switch and suddenly there was this very mature young lady.  I have heard horror stories from other friends, colleagues and seen the transition of the secondary students I have had the privilege to teach over the last 22 years.
I wasn’t really sure what to expect whether we would have this petulant, even more hormonal (yes!) young adult mooching around the house, slinking up the stairs, closing the bedroom door and getting up to things you don’t even want to think about – so don’t go there.
Well the flicked switch seems to come and go a little like Dr Who’s tardis – yes you know what I mean you hear it before you see it come and go.
I think I can hand on heart say that as a parent there was a real low point when we found out that a video had been uploaded to a well known website and it was all about the one obsession that is the be all and end all of their existence – yes come on you’ve been there either yourself or with other friends children …  what could be so important in your daughters life?   Ours is her obsession with One Direction.  Yes we have all been there and loved a certain band, group, individual.
So why were we so upset …. are they good role models?  Not sure if I am qualified to answer that after sitting in the 02 with thousands of screaming girls – I was surrounded by the majority and there were a few mums near me who all looked at each other and sung along to the songs because we had had them drilled into us in the car, the house anywhere our daughters could bombard us.  It felt like a rite of passage and I cried when she cried as they came on stage because she was growing up and experiencing life!
So what had she done now … ohh yes the video … the fact was that it was uploaded without asking us what we thought of it, the content and how it was presented and permission was not given.  She very quickly unloaded said videos – yes there was more than one and we explained how posting things like this can lead to x, y & z and how careful she needed to be.
There have been other little blips since turning 13 but they seem to be little potholes in the road and we have managed to curtail it.  How come we said 20 Facebook friends and you have 100 so she culled the friends very quickly and we were down to the important ones.
So you can imagine when a few days later I came across this article (please click the link) and it made me sit back and really think about how special our daughter is and how she makes me feel as a woman.  I am a late 60’s baby and have a very young outlook on life believing that life should be lived fully and experienced … I encourage the children to have this philosophy and any opportunities to get out into the big wide world and experience life I and my husband fully support.
When I was reading the article this really struck me …

 

It took me decades to learn what these girls seem to understand intuitively: not to confuse disagreement and rupture, conflict and loss of love.

They’ve hit the ground running because of the changes in the lives of women. The culture grants them opportunities that were once male-only, but it still gives to girls with one hand and takes back with the other. I wonder sometimes about the tradeoffs: aprons for eating disorders, strictures for stress, limits for deceptively limitless choices. Still, while my mother’s generation couldn’t even imagine certain freedoms and my generation grew up fighting for them, liberation is the birthright of this group of young women. You can feel it in their strength.

I felt an affinity with the author that made me sit back and think about how lucky I was to grow up with opportunities and how I was parented.  My parents believed, as I do, that life is to be lived and so I was given the chance to experience it as fully as possible.  When I announced I was going to University in London I didn’t see the emotions my mum went through with me finally leaving home to embark on the next stage of my journey in life.  But believe me I certainly know what she was going through as I experience the same roller coaster with our daughter.
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Our daughter recently went on Guide camp and had a fantastic time away from home from the Friday evening until the Monday.  Did we miss her?  Ohh boy yes, all of us, my husband, son and I all kept saying how quiet it was  and wonder what she is doing or they were planning to do this but look at the weather … ohh well they have the hut to go in and they’ll be having fun.I was so excited going to collect her and couldn’t wait to have my “squigey squeeze” and yes for those that listen to BBC Northampton Treasure Quest I have nicked this from Johnathan.
That hug was wonderful … each time they go away from the nest they come back with a little more enrichment to their lives.  I love the fact that life is grasped, lived and adds depth to a wonderful character.
What did it feel like after half an hour of both children being back together …. like someone had dropped a nuclear bomb into our midst and I wanted to bash both heads together because they kept squabbling and saying nasty things to each other.  Only after we had sat and thought about it did peace reign once again in the household.
Having a daughter can be challenging but so rewarding … when I gave birth to Imogene I don’t think I ever thought about what it would be like, the author, Anna Quindlen mentioned this sentence from “Mother Daughter Revolution”
“Suddenly, through birthing a daughter, a woman finds herself face to face not only with an infant, a little girl, a woman-to-be, but also with her own unresolved conflicts from the past and her hopes and dreams for the future.”
Well it has made me sit and look at my relationship with my own mother and how we interact and the conflicts we have had over the years.  I remember being completely high on gas and air (having chats with fairies – yes some of you know that one) after the birth of Matti and my husband
saying “Claire you don’t want to be like your mother” … my response was “I’m not like my mother!”
In reality I think I am and I try hard not to be over reactive (big fail sometimes), to be patient (getting better at this) and to believe that we tread a path for a reason and that it is to enhance our life so that during our journey those individuals who cross our path are meant to to add depth to both of us, to support, love & nurture them.  We may be friends for a short period of our lives but we leave an imprint and an enrichment that forms us and helps us when we meet another.  I remember someone saying to me that I would know my true friends and would be able to count them on one hand …
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I am honoured to be a mother of a daughter – thank you Imo for letting me be your mummy or mum as you would prefer to call me ….
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Having a daughter can be a complex matter for a woman. Despite those who burble about someone to shop and chat with, the truth is that in their search for self, girls challenge their mothers in a way that boys rarely do.The ruling principle of burgeoning female identity seems to be a variation on Descartes: I am not my mom, therefore I am.~ Anna QuindlenRead more: http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2004/12/12/i-ll-never-stop-saying-maria.htmlArt: “Generational Dance” by Anne Nye

☾ Katharine Krueger ~ Occupy Menstruation
Girls’ Empowerment and Coming of Agehttp://JoYW.org/

Beautiful women …

I didn’t write this but absolutely love what this woman wrote. So well done! Please read; it’s quite enjoyable and share. ♥

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! ”
Do share if you care.
http://cut.vg/f/lifechange

 

Stunning …

Cx

Fertility Yoga

Fertility Yoga. Did anyone see the article in Sunday’s Celeb Magazine? Very positive, I heard, but can’t source the link. Good news – Our Yoga for Fertility sessions (including space for confidential group chat) are to continue. Photo shows actress from Desperate Housewives in her favourite Fertility Yoga pose.
Thanks to Francoise from Birthlight for the share on FB.
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Health & Wellness of our little ones

Be careful with those little baby joints… Pediatricians who volunteer time in responding to questions for peaceful parenting have let us know that ‘swinging’ by well meaning adults is one of the most common ways for babies and children to suffer from dislocated joints and joint problems. Babies and children should not be swung, lifted or picked up by their arms.

Saying Goodbye – Remembering

REMEMBERING
by Elizabeth Dent
Go ahead and mention my child.
The one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say “pretty good” or “fine”.
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.Website: www.sayinggoodbye.org
Twitter: @SayinggoodbyeUK
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-Z0IrXDGVA
CCEM Organisors of the Saying Goodbye Services