Category Archives: Sexuality

5 things mum want dads to know


1. Our New Mother Self-Esteem Can Be A Fragile Thing, Our Confidence Just A Veneer

2. We’re Learning Too

3. Our Lack Of Interest In Sex Isn’t Personal. Really.

4. We Are Worried About Being Judged

5. We Expected That Life Would Get Back To Normal – But It’s Starting To Dawn On Us That It Never Will

Great Read Elly is presenting at the Birthlight Conference in September 2014.



Postpartum life …. like a roller coaster that is sometimes difficult to get off of … a cuppa tea in a space that feels safe for you is very important … where do you feel safe & can escape for a few minutes or a little while to feel a little more balanced and “normal”? I am sure there are lots of wonderful bits & awful things you could all add to this … feel free just don’t let anyone label you and establish boundaries with family & friends, what are you comfortable discussing & when to say they have overstepped the mark … Cx

Link 1


Faking Orgasms

Dr. Christiane Northrup It’s amazing to me that women are STILL faking orgasms. I also know that there are many women who don’t experience orgasm much or at all. I want you all to know about Betty Dodson who is in her 80’s now. And is the original Pleasure Revolutionary!!! Her website is LOADED with sex information that we can all use. As she says, sex is a skill that has to be learned to experience beautifully. Check out this amazing firebrand.


What type of nipple are you?


What Type of Nipple Are You?

What Type of Nipple Are You?

Just like snowflakes, no two nipples are the same. (Not even the ones in a matching set.) Let’s just say that if variety is the spice of life, then nipples make livin’ real tasty. But did you know that there are actually, like, clinical categories of nips? The size and color of the areola, the amount of Montgomery glands and the shape and appearance of the teat itself all contribute to the aesthetic, while other terms describe the lack of elasticity of the muscle tissue that makes up the nipple. Find out which one your tits fit.

Contrary to a belief perpetuated by many R-rated ’80s movies, girls don’t hang out together topless. No one wears lingerie at slumber parties and we aren’t inclined to hold conversations with one another when we’re naked. Perhaps because of this, we actually don’t have much of a reference point when it comes to what “normal” is with regards to nipples. Sure, we see boobs in magazines, films, and late-night cable channels but because of mainstream beauty standards, there isn’t much diversity when it comes to nipple types. We’re kind of left in the dark to assume that if our tits don’t look like those in the media they’re ugly or weird.

I was always aware that my areolas a little bigger and lighter than those of girls who get naked for a living, and I guess I handled the shame associated with that by crossing Playboy model off my shortlist of career aspirations. So when it came to my actual nipple, I didn’t have many concerns—until a few minutes after I’d given birth and made my first attempt at breastfeeding. My midwife was standing over me and said, “Oh you have flat nipples. You might have some issues.” I was kind of shocked to hear it, because I thought that everyone’s nipples just blended into the rest of their boobs unless they were cold or aroused. I mean, I just assumed that women in movies or dirty magazines always had erect nipples because they were naked and thus chilly.

So I asked my midwife about it and learned that there are different categories of nipples, which are defined according to protrusion. Here, we break down the different classifications of nipples.


These nipples protrude a few millimeters from the areola at their regular state, but protrude further upon arousal, temperature changes, or tactile stimulation.


Flat nipples are not everted at their normal state. They are just like they sound: Flat; blending into the areola. Flat nipples will protrude, albeit less so than “normal” nipples, upon stimulation, temperature changes and arousal. Flat nipples have the ability to turn into “normal” nipples when breastfeeding draws them out.


Puffy nipples have most of the same characteristics of “flat” nipples, the only difference being that in “puffy” nipples, the areola is raised up off the breast.


Inverted nipples occur when the lactiferous ducts do not get properly stretched during puberty. Inverted nipples have a dimpled appearance, folding into the areola. Much like with flat nipples, inverted nipples can be drawn out from the body either through cosmetic surgery, breastfeeding, nipple shields, or sex toys like nipple clamps, all of which loosen up the tissue. There are three subcategories, or “grades,” of inverted nipples.

  • Grade 1
    These nipples can occasionally become everted from arousal, temperature changes, and stimulation. They can also protrude through manipulation by lightly squeezing fingers around the areola, a few centimeters behind the nipple. Grade 1 nipples will maintain protrusion without retracting. Breastfeeding is possible with Grade 1 nipples.
  • Grade 2
    These nipples can be pulled out—though not as easily—through the same manipulation method as Grade 1 nipples. However, Grade 2 nipples retract back into the areola after finger pressure is released. Breastfeeding is possible with Grade 2 nipples, but will present problems.
  • Grade 3
    These nipples are severely retracted into the areola, meaning they cannot be pulled out through physical manipulation, and typically require surgery in order to protrude. The milk ducts tend to be constricted, rendering breastfeeding impossible.


This is when one nipple is inverted while the other is not. Kind of like boobs are winking at you.

Despite the fact that “normal” is one of these categories, one study indicates that “28 to 35 percent of women…have nipples that don’t protrude that well,” meaning that “abnormal” nipples are actually pretty common. And about 10% of all nips are considered “inverted.” That’s like the same statistic of the population of homosexual people. So, when you think about it that way, statistically, you probably have a cousin with inverted nipples (if you don’t have them yourself). But no matter if your tits are long or short or dark or pale or in or out or even sporting a few stray hairs (hey, it happens!), nobody who’s lucky enough to see them is ever going to complain.

Illustration by Jim Cooke.

Wild woman

Love this … Cx

I am a Wild Woman
I know, inspite of myself
and in spite of what I’ve been told
that there’s beauty in every age
no matter how old

I am a Wild Woman
I’ve learned what it means to be a life bearer
to bear children
to create art
to plant seeds of Love

I am a Wild Woman
from the depths of the dirt underneath my fingernails
to the height of my very Soul
I am one with the Earth
the winds from the four directions whisper through my skin

I am a Wild Woman
and the Spirit of every Wild Woman coalesces in me
for we are each Wild Women
and we are all the Spirit of the Wild Woman
I will follow the oVice in my Heart

I am a Wild Woman
I sing from my Heart
I Dance with the Stars
I howl at the Moon
I Love uncontrollably

I am a Wild Woman
from the deepest, darkest, most Sacred part of me
I am fearless
I cry in Strength
I open my arms to the sky and welcome the rain

I am a Wild Woman
I Nurture, Love and Protect
I stand, strongly, silently, sweetly for my brothers
I walk dutifully, prayerfully, joyfully upon the mother
and I will not be stopped

I am a Wild Woman.

I AM A WILD WOMAN (by Melissa Clary)

Photo of Karen Tracy by photographer Elena Ray

Source: wildwomanwellnessblog

How to talk to your daughter about her body …

Jai-Jagdeesh · 13,256 like this

August 3 at 2:46pm ·

  • A very important piece of writing. I am taking every word of this to heart for when I have children of my own; we MUST shift the way we talk about our bodies, because we MUST shift the way we talk to our daughters about theirs. It’s time to help the young girls in our lives grow up loving who they are. This is absolutely vital to help lift us out of the “My looks determine my value” culture we find ourselves rooted in. Women are hiding. Little girls are getting lost. The Divine Feminine in so many divine females has been damaged or tossed aside. And that HAS to change for our consciousness to evolve into a state of Grace.

    My deepest gratitude to the wise and lovely Sarah Koppelkam for asking us to step up to the plate, and for offering so many beautiful ways of approaching this challenge. I’m on board, one hundred and fifty percent. 

    Without further ado:

    By Sarah Koppelkam

    How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

    Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

    If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

    “You look so healthy!” is a great one.

    Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”

    “I can see how happy you are — you’re glowing.”

    Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

    Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

    Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

    Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say, “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

    Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

    Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

    Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

    Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

    Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

    Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

    Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

    Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

    (… Wow, huh?? Spread this far & wide, pretty please! Let’s start a revolution!!  xoxo, Jai-Jagdeesh)