Category Archives: Sexuality

Faking Orgasms

Dr. Christiane Northrup It’s amazing to me that women are STILL faking orgasms. I also know that there are many women who don’t experience orgasm much or at all. I want you all to know about Betty Dodson who is in her 80’s now. And is the original Pleasure Revolutionary!!! Her website is LOADED with sex information that we can all use. As she says, sex is a skill that has to be learned to experience beautifully. Check out this amazing firebrand. http://dodsonandross.com/podcast/2010/04/pleasure-revolution

 

Wild woman

Love this … Cx
Photo

I am a Wild Woman
I know, inspite of myself
and in spite of what I’ve been told
that there’s beauty in every age
no matter how old

I am a Wild Woman
I’ve learned what it means to be a life bearer
to bear children
to create art
to plant seeds of Love

I am a Wild Woman
from the depths of the dirt underneath my fingernails
to the height of my very Soul
I am one with the Earth
the winds from the four directions whisper through my skin

I am a Wild Woman
and the Spirit of every Wild Woman coalesces in me
for we are each Wild Women
and we are all the Spirit of the Wild Woman
I will follow the oVice in my Heart

I am a Wild Woman
I sing from my Heart
I Dance with the Stars
I howl at the Moon
I Love uncontrollably

I am a Wild Woman
from the deepest, darkest, most Sacred part of me
I am fearless
I cry in Strength
I open my arms to the sky and welcome the rain

I am a Wild Woman
I Nurture, Love and Protect
I stand, strongly, silently, sweetly for my brothers
I walk dutifully, prayerfully, joyfully upon the mother
and I will not be stopped

I am a Wild Woman.

I AM A WILD WOMAN (by Melissa Clary)

Photo of Karen Tracy by photographer Elena Ray
www.antaratma.me

Source: wildwomanwellnessblog

How to talk to your daughter about her body …

Jai-Jagdeesh · 13,256 like this

August 3 at 2:46pm ·

  • A very important piece of writing. I am taking every word of this to heart for when I have children of my own; we MUST shift the way we talk about our bodies, because we MUST shift the way we talk to our daughters about theirs. It’s time to help the young girls in our lives grow up loving who they are. This is absolutely vital to help lift us out of the “My looks determine my value” culture we find ourselves rooted in. Women are hiding. Little girls are getting lost. The Divine Feminine in so many divine females has been damaged or tossed aside. And that HAS to change for our consciousness to evolve into a state of Grace.

    My deepest gratitude to the wise and lovely Sarah Koppelkam for asking us to step up to the plate, and for offering so many beautiful ways of approaching this challenge. I’m on board, one hundred and fifty percent. 

    Without further ado:

    HOW TO TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTER ABOUT HER BODY
    By Sarah Koppelkam

    How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

    Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

    If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

    “You look so healthy!” is a great one.

    Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”

    “I can see how happy you are — you’re glowing.”

    Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

    Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

    Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

    Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say, “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

    Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

    Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

    Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

    Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

    Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

    Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

    Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

    Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

    (… Wow, huh?? Spread this far & wide, pretty please! Let’s start a revolution!!  xoxo, Jai-Jagdeesh)

Teaching daughters about pleasure

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Teaching Daughters about Pleasure | Marnie Goldenberg

Pleasure is good, yes? We can, I think, admit that experiencing pleasure in life is one of it’s great, um, pleasures. For some, pleasure a great meal with fine wine and friends. For others, yoga, a hot bath or a polar bear dip on New Year’s Day. Pleasures are limitless.

Sexual pleasure is good too. For women especially, sexual shame can get in our way of accepting sexual pleasure as something that we’re all ‘allowed’ to have. In my perfect world, sexual pleasure is something that we all know we deserve.

As mothers, as parents, how do we help our daughters grow into women who are comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality? If sexual desire and pleasure are important components of a healthy and happy life, what is our role in shaping our daughters understanding of these concepts? Can we really be satisfied by the education they will receive on the topic if we don’t play a role?

Teaching our daughters how their bodies work is important. But parents often leave out how female bodies have a fabulous capacity for sexual pleasure. Female orgasm is not necessary for baby-making — maybe that’s why the topic of pleasure is sorely neglected.

With a better sense of and respect for sexual pleasure, women might ask for what they like and may feel worthy of sexual gratification. If they understand that pleasure is an integral part of sexual activity for everyone involved, they might discard relationships that fail to honor it. Equipped with information about their bodies, young women might, without shame, figure out how to bring themselves to orgasm. They might not have to wait until many years into their sexual lives to discover that sex, and their sexuality, is pleasurable.

So what can we do and say so that they grow up understanding the pleasure that their bodies can feel and the right they have to feel it?

• When our toddlers are in the bath and they are having a look about, introduce the word clitoris (and distinguish it from vagina)

• When you explain how babies are made, or what sex is, communicate that sex is not just for baby-making but is for fun, intimacy and pleasure.

• When talking about sex, speak broadly about what constitutes sexual activity and what can feel good.

• If your child masturbates, let her know that she is allowed to make her body feel good in that way. Even if you don’t think masturbation is happening, explain that touching your own genitals is natural and normal and a great way to get to know your own body and what feels good.

• Read age-appropriate books with your kid about sex, sexuality and masturbation.

• When you introduce puberty, let girls know that their genitals will also grow up and may begin to feel tingly when they have a crush.
Share messages of self-love and body-love. If you’re partnered, consider ways that you (can) model healthy intimacy, love and pleasure.

• Reinforce that all sexual activity must be consensual. Describe what enthusiastic consent is and how sexual activity is best when pleasure is experienced by everyone involved.

These messages of self-respect and self-love, coupled with sound information about sex and sexuality can begin early and can set our daughters up for a lifetime a pleasure.

That’s good, yes?

~ Marnie “The Sexplainer” Goldenberg, who’s got a lot of excellent material on sexplainer.com

http://sexplainer.com/2013/07/12/teaching-daughters-about-pleasure/

Community –

What do you love about this? What would you add or change?

What messages about pleasure did you receive growing up? What impact did that have on you?

Thanks so much for your participation here which is co-creating a safe space for us to explore, learn and connect.

~ Katharine

Art by Helena Nelson-Reed

☾ Katharine Krueger ~ Occupy Menstruation
Consultant, trainer and guide,
Girls’ Empowerment and Coming of Age http://JoYW.org/

Fertility awareness methods

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Fertility Awareness Methods are Hotter and Healthier than Hormonal BC | Holly Grigg-Spall

The birth control pill is a leading cause of lowered sexual desire and pelvic pain. It’s also known to cause loss of lubrication, vaginitis, and vulvodynia….[more on this on her full post; link below]

[Yet] a sex-positive attitude is becoming synonymous with “set it and forget it” long acting hormonal methods of contraception. But it struck me that sex-positive advocates should be the biggest fans of fertility awareness methods. Here’s why:

• The love of barrier methods. Never have I seen such all-out enthusiasm for condoms, nor such in-depth knowledge of brands, styles and types. Did you know that you can get them in black and that that’s sexy, not creepy? If you practice fertility awareness then barrier use only during your fertile phase has been shown to be 98.2% effective at preventing pregnancy. If you choose to use a condom every time you have sex then add spermicide and fertility awareness and you have a highly effective form of birth control. If you’re single or a swinger or just want to use condoms all the time then doubling-up with hormonal birth control is overkill that could be doing your health and well-being harm in the long term.

• Libido peaks at ovulation. If sex-positive becomes synonymous with long-acting hormonal methods like Mirena and Implanon then women will be forgoing the time of the month when they most want to have sex. Suggesting women avoid sex during their fertile time could be considered cruel and unrealistic – however having a good reason to skirt “penis in vagina” sex in favor of another kind might not be so bad. Being sex-positive is about exploring your sexuality and not adhering to mainstream models – fertility awareness demands you think outside of the box (pardon the pun) once a month. Knowing about your cycle’s peaks and troughs also allows you to understand you don’t have to be “on” all the time. If you don’t feel like having sex one week, there’s no need to dash to buy out the Pleasure Chest to rectify the situation.

• Looking for worry–free, no-strings, uninterrupted sex? Then what’s more confidence-boosting and anxiety-relieving than knowing for sure because your own body tells you so that you’re definitely not fertile and can not get pregnant? Sure, you can get this reassurance with Mirena or Implanon – but you might also get the side effects of depression, anxiety, and low libido so that would defeat the purpose. You can choose to have the sex with your date on the day you know you’ll only need to worry about whether to call him three days or five days later.

• Using hormonal contraceptives messes with our instincts when it comes to physical attraction. It makes sense if you think that all of our five senses are meddled with when we stop the body’s hormone cycle like sense of smell and acuity of touch. It’s not very sex-positive to disregard these biological signals that provoke our physical response to our partner. Attraction isn’t just about pheromones but they do play their part.

• Being sex-positive should be about more than knowing what gets you off. Body literacy through cycle awareness can help you keep healthy physically and emotionally. Good sex doesn’t occur in a vacuum. If you feel good (and you don’t have a deadline, the dishes are done, and your cell phone stops ringing…) then having good sex will come easier (again, pardon the pun). If being sex-positive is about respecting your body and feeling no shame, then why shut down your body’s integral hormone cycle?

• If your’re sex-positive why would you want to submit to the pharmaceutical and medical industry when it not only thinks that it’s okay to make contraceptives for women that kill libido (and won’t make contraceptives for men for the very same reason) but also can’t wait to diagnose women with “sexual dysfunctions” in order to create a market for a female Viagra – as illustrated in the great documentary ‘Orgasm Inc.’?

Read more from this *excellent post* from Holly Grigg-Spall, author of the upcoming book Sweetening the Pill: How We Got Hooked On Hormonal Birth Control
http://menstruationresearch.org/2012/10/26/footloose-and-pharmaceutical-free/

Art: “Blue Clitoris” by Lauren Cleaver

☾ Katharine Krueger ~ Occupy Menstruation
Consultant, trainer and guide,
Girls’ Empowerment and Coming of Age http://JoYW.org/

UPDATE:
My new website is *so* close to completion, or at least the basic framework. I am sooo happy. It will still be at http://JoYW.org/. Eventually there will be tons of resources including links to articles, FB pages and groups offering menstrual-and-womb positive ideas and services, and all things Red Tent-y. Altho really I ought to coordinate with all the Red Tent Movement people including The Red Web Foundation on that. Plus I want to include info about all the Girl Empowerment and Coming of Age for Girls groups around the World. And I am very excited to be able to offer my own “Moms and Mentors Training for Circling with Girls” as well as “Intentional Parent Workshops” which hopefully will be live video conferences so we can really connect. And I hope to create plenty of space for people to express themselves, ask questions, share stories, etc. And for menstrual mavens and Red Tent activists and FAM educators to write articles and/or lead online workshops. You can visit the old page http://JoYW.org/ to request to be added to the e-list.